Obstacles to Guru Devotion

My very dear one,
I heard the recent news; not BBC or CNN, but your center news. I am sorry how things have turned out there. I think the new director is sincerely trying to help the center in general, according to his view of the situation.

It is important that you try to understand Geshe-la’s position as resident teacher. He is thinking of the center and the students, and I think his decision to stay at the center and not go is because he thinks this is the beneficial thing to do. He is also trying to help the new director. I think this helping part is very important.

You are very understanding person, so it is important for you to understand that Geshe-la is trying to do what he thinks is beneficial, which means he gave up his holiday. I hope you understand my points. I am looking from the outside and this is how I see it. I think there is no reason to get upset with Geshe-la; that is a huge mistake.

Geshe-la has the responsibility of being the resident teacher and also, he especially needs to help the new director. You also need to help the new director, as you have done many times in the past.

You really, really, really, need to be careful, as you have taken teachings from Geshe-la and he is your guru. As you know there are the eight shortcomings if you get angry towards the virtuous friend, so essentially you are creating the negative karma for eons of time in the hell realms. Can you imagine that? After one hell realm, then into another hell realm and then another. So, think really well and don’t cheat yourself. Please don’t follow the delusions, especially anger. I have not been so direct with you before, but this time I think I need to. So please, please, please, don’t get angry with Geshe-la.

This life is most precious. Each second is very precious, so please be careful about the impure view in your mind. Please be careful of the ordinary view of your teacher. Please think about the paramita of patience. Please see the incredible value and importance of practicing patience.

Please think about the lamrim. You need to take care of your mind, think that your mind is like a baby and you are the babysitter, or think that you are the police watching. In this way, take very good care of your mind, don’t let it go crazy. This can be very helpful. If delusion arises and you get involved, then you go to the hell realm, but if you don’t get involved in delusion, then it is Dharma. It is very important that you become a guide to yourself. When you follow the lamrim, you become a guide to yourself and then you become a guide to others. Sentient beings depend on you.

Please let me know how you feel and what you would like to do. Do you want to continue staying at the center or would you prefer to be somewhere else at least for some time?

Both you and __ have been very important to the center. You have both given so much, and I really appreciate this from the bottom of my heart. Both of you are still very important to fulfilling my wishes for sentient beings, so please remember this and enjoy this advice.

With much love and prayers...

My dear one,
I discussed with your friend, and she thought to set up her mind in a proper way—not going to extremes and not engaging in the heaviest negative karma, only thinking of others’ faults. Instead of putting the blame for her own difficulties and problems on others, thinking in the proper way, to have a healthy mind and body so she can practice Dharma from life to life.

Therefore, I am very happy that both of you came to see me this time. I understand that it’s not an easy life, because the mind is not easy. One minute we think this way according to guru devotion, then next minute, the opposite. This is quite normal for us sentient beings.

My suggestion for you is to read lamrim and really stick with that. If you stick with lamrim, you will achieve a lot of peace and happiness and satisfaction, in this life and beyond. In this life you will have good relationships and happiness, and you will be able to offer service to others. Otherwise you will suffer so much and also cause many difficulties to others. Even living together, there will be lots of fights and much suffering; you will not really have peace.

So my idea is, if you could please read Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand well, from beginning to end, especially guru devotion, which is the root of the path—our obstacles or successes depend on that. Then also read the perfect human rebirth, karma, and the suffering of samsara, each realm. This is very, very important. Then the extensive kindness of sentient beings and the mother is also very important. Then renouncing samsara and then bodhicitta, as much as possible. So, read well from beginning to the end, and meditate on it. Please read well two times. Read slowly and well, relating it to your life, and meditating on it when you read.

After that, spend five months meditating on guru devotion, two months on perfect human rebirth up to karma, five months on the gradual path of the middle capable being, seven months on bodhicitta, the gradual path of the higher capable being, and nine months on emptiness. So this is what your focus should mostly be on, during that number of months. Then whatever realization you didn’t have, go back again and again for that number of months. Do this based on Guru Puja, Lama Tsongkhapa Guru Yoga or Six-session Guru Yoga.

Please remember to rejoice every morning when you wake up. Think, “I didn’t die today. Life is very short. I don’t think I will live very long.” If you think that you will live long, then problems will arise—attachment, anger, and the selfish mind will increase problems in your life, and then you will harm others. So, it’s important to think about impermanence and death, because it is very sure that death can happen any day. Then everything becomes very quiet; all the disturbing emotional thoughts go away. The mind becomes very quiet, with more Dharma in the heart, then there is the sincere help to others and you don’t waste time. So please try to follow this as much as you can.

First of all, rejoice. Rejoice in all of your 15 years of service. Not just a little, but huge rejoicing. This is so unbelievable, unbelievable, unbelievable. How fortunate that you had the karma to bring you together with this great teacher, to have the opportunity for so many years of service to him. You must rejoice. Okay? So many eons of negative karma are purified by your service. You should have incredible joy and happiness over this. So much negative karma is purified! Also, think that all of Geshe-la’s displeasure with you is from your past negative karma that was accumulated in previous lives. So, your focus should be to purify this.

Anytime some bad thing is happening with Geshe-la, then you must think immediately: “To the view of my hallucinatory and mistaken mind, my own mistakes appear in the actions of the guru. Realizing these are my own mistakes, I must abandon them like poison.” This is so very good to think about; it is such strong protection for the mind. Thinking this way will give you confidence and strength. It’s from the Fifth Dalai Lama. Think the Fifth Dalai Lama has instructed you personally and he himself is telling you this. Ha ha ha! (Tibetan: rang sem lokpai trup la shen nang la...?)

Also you must think about the nine attitudes of guru devotion, you know, to have the attitude like an obedient dog, etc. This is very important.

Student: It’s so hard now for my mind to want to develop this attitude of being like an obedient dog. I don’t want to be obedient because I have different opinions about things, and I want to express those.

Rinpoche: No, no, it’s okay. Just think these attitudes [of guru devotion] are for enlightenment, so it’s okay. You can develop these attitudes, because you know that it will lead you towards enlightenment. That’s it. So, no problem. There is one famous Kagyü lama, after Milarepa; I’m not sure of his name right now, but he said: 1) when the guru beats the disciple, this is a great initiation; great blessings come from that beating, and 2) if there is a need for obstacles to be eliminated, then there is wrathful scolding. Just think the wrathful scolding eliminates obstacles, and 3) ...not sure. But that’s enough; just concentrate on these two. That’s enough for you. [See Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, p. 262.]

One of the Buddha’s disciples was a monk who didn’t listen to the Buddha’s instruction. He doubted the Buddha and thought it was not good for his teacher to eat sugar, so he didn’t give him the sugar and the teacher died. I heard something like that. This story is very important. It’s really helpful to think about that meaning again and again. [Note: Rinpoche explains more about this story here.]

My very dear one,
I am sorry I only just now read your letter that you gave during the retreat, I am very sorry for the many eons of delay.

I checked and you can do 800,000 Samayavajra mantras. This can be some in retreat or just on weekends and in this way slowly finish the number. Of course, base this practice on the sadhana.

I am very happy that you discovered this and knew how to think, from your own side looking at the guru as Buddha, even though I am not Buddha from my own side, but you knew how to look at the guru as Buddha, so you are very lucky. This is the root of the path to enlightenment, the root of everything, the root of all success.

Please make your life most meaningful with the thought of bodhicitta.

With much love and prayers...

My dear one,
Devotion developed through analytical and fixed meditation is much more stable, so whatever is happening, we don't lose our devotion. That’s why, even if we have guru devotion, it has to be stable. If our guru devotion is based on what we see from the outside, but it is not developed from our own side with reasoning based on analytical and fixed meditation, then as long as everything we see is nice, it’s okay, but if our guru devotion is not stable, once we see a mistake, the devotion is gone. We have to understand this point. That’s why not only guru devotion, but the whole lamrim, is based on analytical meditation (except shi-nä, which doesn’t have much analytical meditation).

There are two techniques using Lama Tsongkhapa's method of making use of seeing mistakes to develop devotion. The first technique is this:

If we put on blue glasses, everything we see is blue and if we put on red glasses, then everything we see is red. Therefore, if we have an obscured mind, mistaken thoughts and past negative karmic imprints, it is like putting on red or blue glasses and we see the guru in that way—as having mistakes, delusions, sicknesses, the shortcomings of samsara, problems, mistakes in actions, sexual immorality and so forth. This is how we see with our mistaken, obscured mind, which is due to past negative karma and imprints. It is exactly the same as the example of the colored glasses. Depending on what type of glasses we wear, we see everything like that.

With a negative mind we see everything as negative and with a pure mind we see everything as pure. With a mind full of guru devotion, we see the guru as Buddha and with that mind we see everything as pure. We see the guru as Buddha, and we see no delusions, no sufferings of samsara, and no mistakes in actions; what appears is just a manifestation of an act. It’s like somebody is acting his or her life story in the theatre. That’s how we see it. Even though there is an appearance, we don't believe in that because we see the guru as Buddha, so it doesn't harm us or make us lose devotion.

That is why the fifth Dalai Lama said, rang dzin log shay... “In the view of the perverted mind all your mistakes manifest in the guru’s action. This is definite—that your heart is broken from the bottom. By realizing this, your own mistake, then abandon this poison.” An appearance is one thing, then believing it is true is an obstacle to achieving enlightenment.

Merits, even those accumulated without bodhicitta, made by circumambulating or prostrating to the Buddha can't be destroyed completely if they are sealed with emptiness, so what we need to do is abandon negative thoughts and the belief that they are true. Think, “Whenever I see mistakes, this is the appearance of my own mistaken mind.” Of course, this reminds and inspires us to purify our negative karma, which causes us to see this wrong view. The mistakes that we see are our own mistakes. They are negative imprints from the past, so abandon them like poison.

The next thing is there are numberless buddhas, one thousand buddhas for this fortunate eon. They all exist, but we cannot see them. They don't appear to us, because our minds are obscured and defiled. It is like this. (Rinpoche covers his eyes with his hands.) We cannot see; not only can we not see, but it is also a hallucination.

Because we can't see the buddhas, they can’t guide us directly because they are blocked by our delusions. Because they are most kind, most precious, they have completed compassion for sentient beings and they have a perfect mind and perfect power, but the only way they can guide us is by manifesting in ordinary form. Taking the aspect of having mistakes is the only solution in order to guide us. The buddhas have to manifest having delusions and mistakes; only then can we see them and receive guidance directly. Through this they reveal methods to achieve happiness in this and all future lives, for example, how to be born in a pure realm or with a perfect human rebirth. They teach us how to achieve all that and how to achieve perfect enlightenment. This aspect is most kind. Compared to the sky filled with jewels, this aspect is more precious.

Specific instructions

1. Buy some offerings, like a big basket of fruit or whatever your guru likes, then go to him and confess. This is very important, so that the negative karma becomes much smaller. If any anger or heresy arises, this is the first thing you must do as quickly as possible. It’s very important that this is the first thing you do. If you confess your negativities, they can be purified. Make prostrations, give the offering, then apologize respectfully. Don’t just say sorry in the Western way. Humbly say, “I had anger, heresy, or whatever it was, arising in past months.” Say it humbly.

2. Think about the guru as most kind and most precious. Keep thinking this, while reciting one mala or even more. Remember all the gurus. If you see any mistake, think the guru is most kind. Think this so strongly until a tear comes. Then remember all the kindness of the gurus and all the happiness of future lives. Do this twenty-one times. Then think about how they teach us to achieve liberation and enlightenment, and how they are most precious and kind. Think that they bring us to enlightenment. Think that they are most precious and kind twenty-one times. Seeing their mistakes actually makes us develop devotion.

3. Think that the guru and His Holiness the Dalai Lama are one, and that all the buddhas are one.

We can think all this is for our guru devotion practice—this is very important. When we talk about the guru we have to say “manifest.” Tsul tenpa means “acted” not real. We have to remember the words “acted” or “manifested.” Even talking about His Holiness the Dalai Lama as being ill is a big mistake. If we say he is ill, we are saying he is not a buddha. Even an arya bodhisattva who has achieved the path of meditation doesn’t have sickness.

4. Please read Milarepa’s life story.

5. Read Liberation in the Palm of Your Hand, writing out all the stories of guru devotion and relating them to your guru. Think that the negative appearances come from your own mind. For three months you should think mainly about this and about the guru’s kindness, then happiness will come. Then do more purification.

How our future lives turn out is dependent on this life—how much correct Dharma practice we do, our development with the spiritual friend, whether we find the guru or not, and then if we can correctly devote to the guru or not. That depends on this life. We have to remember this.

My very dear, most dear Chris,
I have received your kind letter. I am very surprised somebody like you stayed on the path, or stayed with me. If I had given up on you, I wouldn’t write to you or advise you. It doesn’t make sense. How would you exist, if you gave up? How would you exist without Buddha? How do you live life without karma, cause and effect? This is life. Life without karma? HA HA HA HA.

I am not saying I am Buddha at all, but it is kind of the same. You may think, imagine, or believe that I gave up on you, when your merit is low, but it is impossible from my side. How can we give up, since it means to not have compassion? Of course, if anger allows, then some people think like that, but it is a wrong way of thinking. We will talk, don’t worry.

With much love and prayers...

PS. I am very happy you went away—it helped in the best way. That is the most correct way of thinking about the situation related to the center. According to Buddha, what he did and advised us to do is to not only cherish or generate compassion for sentient beings, but to generate extremely great compassion for those who have harmed us in return for our help.

As a Buddhist, you are so wise. By generating compassion and helping others, we create only good karma, and as a result we receive only help from others for many, many thousands of lifetimes. From one act of compassion and kindness there is temporary happiness, but, most importantly, ultimate happiness, liberation and enlightenment. Then, from that, we can liberate numberless sentient beings and bring them to full enlightenment. This comes from having caused inconceivable, temporary happiness for sentient beings.

My most dear Chris,
Even if we are angry and upset, Buddha and bodhisattvas are still helping us.

With big love and prayers...

PS. Your recent confession to me and most importantly to other people is a big preliminary practice. HA HA HA HA!!!

My dear Chris,
I did not give up you on you, that was why I wrote to you, but you did not answer or reply to me.